A Lifetime of Great Sex – even after the Change

It’s just what you’ve always wanted: all those years of having cramps, weird food cravings, back pain, and crabbiness every single month are finally behind you. But you didn’t ask for the symptoms that come with the downside of menopause, which can often include a decrease in your sex drive. Take heart, though; no one’s telling you to say goodbye to great sex forever! Here’s the lowdown on what really happens during “The Change” – and why it might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to your love life.

Most American women experience menopause around the age of 51, but some experience symptoms of menopause well before their last period – even years beforehand. These symptoms can include irregular bleeding, those infamous hot flashes, mood changes, insomnia, depression, incontinence, cognitive changes such as problems with attention and memory, and sexual changes like vaginal dryness, an increase in yeast infections, and lack of interest in sex.

A recent study by the University of Chicago published in the New England Journal of Medicine showed half of Americans aged 57 to 85 were sexually active at least two or three times a month. The same study pointed out that half of those who defined themselves as “sexually active” also experienced some sexual difficulty. Women reported more problems than men, and half of those women reported a lack of desire as the primary problem. Don’t worry though...chances are you will have years of fantastic sex to look forward to, says ob/gyn Dr. John McMurry of Spencer, West Virginia. Women’s and men’s sexual responses change as they age, often around menopause, but these can be positive changes.

According to Dr. McMurry, some women actually report an increase in desire during midlife or around menopause and men of the same age have probably gained greater control over ejaculation so they are able to last longer in bed. Combine these factors along with the fact that couples in this age group tend to communicate better with one another and are comfortable enough with each other to experiment with sex without feeling silly and you have the recipe for great sex. Dr. McMurry is quick to point out that at any age, “the best foundation for a healthy sex life is a strong, loving relationship with your partner.”

But what if the symptoms of menopause are taking a toll on your sex life? Well you don’t just have to grin and bear it. Talk to your doctor about these non-prescription treatments:

Zestra. A feminine arousal fluid made of pure botanical ingredients. You massage the oil onto your clitoris and vagina just before sex. It creates a gentle warmth that helps you get aroused and stay aroused. Available at bettersex.com.

Zestra + Love Ring. Our “Kindle Her Desire” kit combines Zestra with a clitoral stimulating cock ring.

Clitoral cup stimulator. Placing the device’s soft “cup” over your clitoris clit and vulva creates a vacuum that encourages blood flow to the entire area, which increases sensitivity, helps you stay lubricated, and lets you reach orgasm more easily.

Olive oil or vitamin E vaginal suppositories. These are useful for women who cannot tolerate the preservatives typically used in other lubricants. Be careful, though; oil and condoms don’t mix!

Use of a vibrator can also become an important aid in enhancing a woman’s capacity to achieve orgasm. The more she practices on her own and teaches her partner what is stimulating, the easier it may be for her to reach climax.

Some prescription medications may also ease menopausal symptoms. Ask your doctor about:

• Hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Dr McMurry suggests using estrogen vaginally, so the hormone doesn’t circulate throughout your system.
• Testosterone
• Changing certain antidepressants and blood-pressure medications, if you take these medications regularly.

At the end of the day though, sizzling sex happens when two people enjoy pleasuring each other!

Many menopausal women with lowered libidos have totally given up on sex, do not use vaginal estrogen, rarely use self-stimulation or try introducing novelty into their marriages. Once a woman stops “using it,” she is well on her way to losing it.” It’s never too late to start having the best sex of your life and BetterSex.com can help with our new Great Sex for A Lifetime 2 DVD series.

Check out these books and Web sites for more information on sex and menopause:

Sex Over 50 by Joel D. Block and Susan Crain Bakos (Reward Books: New York, NY, 1999)

Website for the American Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists http://www.acog.org

Website for the North American Menopause Society www.menopause.org

www.MagnificentMenopause.com