A Hard Day’s Night:
Scorching Sex with or without Your Erection
You join your wife, life partner, or girlfriend out at a hot new restaurant for dinner and drinks. Conversation and libations are flowing and everything is fine until you get home and into the bedroom. Suddenly, when it comes time for action, Man’s Best Friend (your penis) just won’t cooperate. Darn that last martini, you think to yourself.
Don’t panic! Erectile difficulty (ED), the catch-all name for trouble getting it up, happens at some point to every man. Read on to find out why it’s so not the end of the world or even the end of night.
The Lowdown
Men get an erection when blood flows into the penis, making it thick and stiff. Erectile difficulty can be caused by physiological issues, psychological issues, or a combination of the two. Psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Lori Buckley, of Pasadena, California, indicates that ED may be the result of being a smoker, being overweight, having prostate problems, diabetes, and/or cardiovascular issues that limit blood flow. Another common cause is too much alcohol. Alcohol is supposed to relax you, but it sure can backfire and relax you just a little bit too much! If you have consistent erectile difficulty, Dr. Buckley stresses the importance of visiting your doctor for a check-up.
Doing It
ED can be caused by nerves and performance anxiety too. If you let anxiety affect your self-esteem, one night’s problem can snowball into permanent insecurity. “Men have an emotional connection to their penises,” explains Dr. Buckley. “They think women feel the same way, and fear rejection.” A fear of rejection is common, but it is possible to reduce fear by thinking of pleasure, not performance or penetration, as your lovemaking goal. Focusing on pleasure is a great way for both partners to end the night smiling. Here’s some advice from Dr. Buckley:
Relax. Most women will tell you, “sex” does not necessarily mean “intercourse.” They aren’t saying that just to make men feel better, they really do mean it. Focus on each moment of pleasure instead of thinking ahead to the end result. This will make your next sexual encounter more pleasurable and relaxing for both of you. Then, if you are able to achieve an erection, it is an added bonus.
It’s okay if you lose your erection! It’s not gone forever,” Dr. Buckley assures. “But what you do when you lose it makes a big difference.” Instead of stressing, focus on other things. Spend time arousing your partner; curl up for some cuddling or kissing; or just go watch a movie and try again later. Your partner may mirror your emotional state, so stay calm and confident. Remember that losing an erection can have many causes and will happen to just about every man at some point.
What about a magic pill?
Erection-sustaining prescription medications such as Viagra ®, Levitra ®, or Cialis ® are typically taken at least thirty minutes before intercourse and can last up to a couple of days. These medications can be a good option” said Dr. Buckley’s. “ED Medications can act as an insurance policy that helps build confidence and reduce sexual pressure and anxiety. They’re there if you need them.” Dr. Buckley suggests trying drug-free solutions first. If you’re considering taking erection-sustaining medication, talk to your doctor. ED medications are contraindicated for some men, including men taking beta blockers, alpha blockers and/or nitroglycerin.
Some Drug Free Options
Pumps. Pumps can help bring blood into a man’s penis. Our best seller is the Vacurect OTC Penis Pump.
Straps. Some men can achieve an erection but its strength ebbs. Using a strap at the base of the penis can help prevent blood from leaving. The Dr. Honn Erection Ring is our best selling erection strap.
The Pill Plus Better Sex Option
If it strikes you as a little nuts to take a pill to have the same sex you were having before you began having ED issues, then we have another drug free idea to share. Our new Great Sex For A Lifetime two volume DVD series is guaranteed to help you have better sex. If you can safely fill a prescription for Viagra, then spend just a little more to watch and learn some new tips and tricks. Pill + knowledge beats pill alone every time… guaranteed!
Check out these resources for more information on ED:
The New Male Sexuality by Bernie Zilbergeld (New York: Bantam, 1999)
http://www.sexualhealth.com
http://www.webmd.com
http://www.viagra.com
http://www.levitra.com
http://www.cialis.com